"That is not dead which can eternal lie And with strange aeons even death may die."

"People judge you not by the size of your feet, but by whether your socks match."

"A joke was not a single-use item but something you brought out again and again until it fell apart in your hand like a cheap umbrella."

"A friend should bear his friend's infirmities."

"You'd be surprised how much it costs to look this cheap."

"A human being is an animal suspended in webs of significance which he himself has spun."

"The best things in life don't make sense."

"It is difficult to make a man miserable while he feels worthy of himself and claims kindred to the great God who made him."

"That's just the way things go. We meet people, get to know them and then they get up and leave us behind."

"A scholar is the favorite of Heaven and of earth; The excellence of one's country, The happiest of mankind."

"The only way to reform some people is to chloroform them."

"Having a personal philosophy is like having a pet marmoset, because it may be very attractive when you acquire it, but there may be situations when it will not come in handy at all."