"People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up."

"CandyIs dandyBut liquorIs quicker."

"The Preacher, the Politicain, the Teacher, Were each of them once a kiddie. A child, indeed, is a wonderful creature. Do I want one? God Forbiddie!"

"The Pig, if I am not mistaken, Supplies us sausage, ham, and Bacon. Let others say his heart is big, I think it stupid of the Pig."

"He without benefit of scruples His fun and money soon quadruples."

"Progress might have been all right once, but it has gone on too long."

"We adore chaos because we love to produce order."

"Laws are sand, customs are rock. Laws can be evaded and punishment escaped but an openly transgressed custom brings sure punishment."

"I have a higher and grander standard of principle than George Washington. He could not lie; I can, but I won't."

"Books are not made for furniture, but there is nothing else that so beautifully furnishes a house."

"CandyIs dandyBut liquorIs quicker."

"A dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest, honestly. It's the honest ones you want to watch out for, because you can never predict when they're going to do something incredibly stupid."