"I was always taught to respect my elders and I've now reached the age when I don't have anybody to respect."

"Being an actor is easy, just picture someone in a room and you outside waiting for your cue to go in. Elliot Gould's been trying that for forty years."

"Too bad all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxi cabs and cutting hair."

"This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only read two."

"Too bad the only people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and cutting hair."

"If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age."

"Before you act consider; when you have considered, tis fully time to act."

"If you wouldst live long, live well, for folly and wickedness shorten life."

"My father taught me to work; he did not teach me to love it."

"O, beware, my lord, of jealousy! It is the green-eyed monster which doth mock the meat it feeds on."

"Man is fond of counting his troubles, but he does not count his joys. If he counted them up as he ought to, he would see that every lot has enough happiness provided for it."

"Dieu me pardonnera. C'est son m'etier (God will forgive me. It's his profession)"