"When you're hot, you're hot; when you're not, you're not."

"It takes 15,000 nuts to hold a car together, but only one to spread it all over the highway."

"Violence is a tool of the ignorant."

"Funny is an attitude."

"The cost of living is going up and the chance of living is going down."

"The devil made me do it."

"Blessed is the man that endureth temptation for when he is tried he shall receive the crown of life."

"No soul is desolate as long as there is a human being for whom it can feel trust and reverence."

"What can we see, read, acquire, but ourselves. Take the book, my friend, and read your eyes out, you will never find there what I find."

"Education, n. That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding."

"How much time he gains who does not look to see what his neighbor says or does or thinks, but only at what he does himself, to make it just and holy."

"Those who can laugh without cause have either found the true meaning of happiness or have gone stark raving mad."