"I have one of those real old American built cars. The kind that just PUNCHES through accidents."

"Just goes to show you. You can kill a guy, fold him up, stuff him in your trunk, and still you don't *really* know him."

"The more you talk to yourself, the more apt you are to lie."

"Children are natural mimics; they act like their parents in spite of every effort to teach them good manners."

"It takes far less courage to kill yourself than it takes to make yourself wake up one more time. It is harder to stay where you are than to get out."

"I like a beautiful song that tells you terrible things. We all like bad news out of a pretty mouth."

"The turtle lives 'twixt plated decksWhich practically conceal its sex.I think it clever of the turtleIn such a fix to be so fertile."

"Being born in a duck yard does not matter, if only you are hatched from a swan's egg."

"A fanatic is someone who redoubles his efforts when he has forgotten his aim."

"He who joyfully marches in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would suffice."

"PRELATE, n. A church officer having a superior degree of holiness and a fat preferment. One of Heaven's aristocracy. A gentleman of God."

"Education is not received. It is achieved."