"Men, I want you just thinking of one word all season. One word and one word only: Super Bowl."

"I never trust a man unless I've got his pecker in my pocket."

"The greatest ideas are the simplest."

"It's easy to stop making mistakes. Just stop having ideas."

"No man really becomes a fool until he stops asking questions."

"When the Black Camel comes for me, I'm not going to go kicking and screaming. I am, however, going to try to talk my way out of it. 'No, no, you want the other Walter Slovotsky.'"

"Women! Ya can't live with 'em and ya can't get 'em to wear skimpy little Nazi outfits."

"The only people who seem to have nothing to do with the education of the children are the parents."

"For ye are like unto whited sepulchres, which indeed appear beautiful outward, but are within full of dead men's bones."

"Every little girl knows about love. It is only her capacity to suffer because of it that increases."

"To change and to change for the better are two different things."

"The greatest improvement is made by the man who works most intelligently."